Cheap therapy

The week prior to my surgery my cousin lost her sweet daughter in an auto-pedestrian accident.  She was only 18 months old. She blessed this earth for only 566 days. That is too short.   It is a tragic and horrible thing to have to bury one so small. As I felt helpless in trying to figure out what I could do for her I remembered reading on a friends blog about when she lost her daughter.  She was so mad she said she just felt like breaking something.  She had said this at a friends home and that sweet woman went to her cupboard and picked up one of her china plates and handed it to her and said chuck it. I have always remembered that.

One month later I opened my kitchen cupboard and reminded Josh that he didn't like the plates and bowls we had, and that paper goods were doing just fine for us anyway.  I packed a laundry basket full of dishes and went down to her house.  My sis-in-law met me there and at first it was a little awkward.  I was there to offer support but it was also the first time I had seen her since my diagnosis.  After hugs and trying to figure out what to say I explained the reason for the dishes.  I said that I have had moments where I just wanted to break something and thought she might have had a few of those herself.  And then I asked if she wanted to go outside and break them. I loved my sis-in-law's reaction...."i've never broken a dish on purpose before!"  We went out to a small cement pad in her backyard. It was just perfect, like it was purposely created to throw dishes onto.

The sound of breaking glass/ceramics is an awesome one. Especially when done on purpose.  It's a little nerve wrecking when you hear it in a crowded restaurant knowing some poor waiter dropped it on accident. That fall day the three of us stood around this cement pad and poured out our frustrations.  As we held each item we said something that made us mad, angry or just so sad and then proceeded to throw and smash dish after dish.  We cried and laughed and yelled and it was incredible.  And then as any good mamas would do we grabbed the brooms and cleaned up our mess.  

Breaking dishes really solved nothing, but leaving that day somehow I felt better.  That the anger I had been feeling inside had an outlet and was OK.   I highly recommend it for anyone that is having a hard time.   Heck, I even have a few dishes left in my cupboard come on over and we'll break them.