At the beginning (with you)

One month. 4 weeks. 31 days since I was "me".  Since I heard the word cancer and associated it with my body.   One month ago I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer and while having my thyroid removed the surgeon accidentally severed my left laryngeal nerve paralyzing my left vocal cord.  This is my story.

I am an LDS 32 year old mother of 4, married to an amazing man living the dream on our little acre of Eden.  In the spring of 2014 I started feeling like someone was putting their hand on my throat every time I swallowed.  And since I had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism after my 3rd child I went in to have levels drawn.  They came back barely low so they increased my dosage and sent me for an ultrasound.   The ultrasound revealed 3 nodules on the right side.  So I was sent for a fine needle biopsy. (That was the worst test I have ever had done. I would rather give birth a dozen more times than do that one again! )  The biopsy results came back indeterminate.  Which is a giant really lame word that means they don't know. My doctor recommended surgery and I said let's wait. Denial was my greatest ally. So in April we set a surgical date for October.  My husband jokes that I strategically placed it on the day before the hunt but I truly had no control over which Friday they chose.

When you are in denial you can pretend that life is normal but really there is always a proverbial elephant in the room.  Cue Murphy.  Murphy's law states that when you are trying your hardest to eat right, get in shape and take care of yourself something will go wrong.  Enter torn right patellar knee flap, full leg immobilizer,  many hours of physical therapy and all around annoyance. (Funny image- try changing a diaper on the floor with a squirming baby while keeping your leg completely straight. Even funnier- try driving while keeping said right leg straight and using the tippy top of the gas pedal and breaking with your left foot).

So after we got all that fun stuff out of the way, family weddings and reunions and all of the birthday's for the year I focused on preparing for surgery.  Preparing meant going into cleaning gear.  My husband said it felt like I was nesting for a baby. To which I explained that I didn't know how I was going to feel after and if my first diagnosis of hypothyroidism was any indication we were in for a doosey since I had layed on the floor for a week before going to a doctor.   So in my cleaning frenzy I decided to redo the living room and found mold in preparing to paint.  Mold remediation commenced and life continued. A routine dentist visit discovered my 4 year old needed to have his tonsils out. We were able to schedule that for one month prior to my surgery.  His was a success and they moved the furniture back in the night before. Phew.